It’s all about the chemistry

Wednesday, April 12, 2006 | Relationships | YOU | MUMBAI MIRROR

How can you tell if the chemistry between two people is steaming hot or if they are the subtle, lets keep it low variety? Read on for signs that will tell you how to spot sizzling chemistry between two people, both for yourself and in general:


Talk to the hand

In this case the hand means the wrist. If two people are exposing their wrists to each other, it is a subconscious display of being submissive to the other, the body language reads — if you want me, come and get me.


Give ‘em the shoulder

Another good way to detect some serious chemistry is to notice the shoulders. Shoulder orientation is one of the most obvious signs of attraction. Basically, the two smitten ones will face their upper body towards each other. In essence, you point your shoulder at what you want.


Lean on me

Leaning forward is also an easy sign to pick up. If the shoulders point at each other and the two people are leaning forwards towards each other, it is a sure sign that sparks are flying.


Eye Effect

When there is chemistry between two people it is almost like a drug. Therefore the person’s pupils will dilate (get bigger) while looking at the other. However, keep in mind that lighting can greatly affect this. For instance, if you are outside when the sun is present, the pupils may appear to be very small no matter how much attraction is being felt, and vice versa.


The Flip
If you notice a woman flip her hair, or a man constantly fiddling with his, and immediately after, they glance in the other’s way, he or she is showing their interest, trying to get their attention by making eye contact.

According to clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, who runs a private practice in Bandra, a good relationship is one in which two people come together not because they have to, but because they want to. They are with each other, not because they are incomplete people but because they want to share their completeness. Here are the reasons according to her, as to when there can be such high levels of chemistry between two people.

Intimacy: Relationships where emotion is experienced in depth and with intensity. Where two people are able to articulate and express their emotions well — the magic works.

Compatibility: Two people who are in tune with each other’s activities, movements and are connected with each other not only at an emotional but at an intellectual level also.

Communication: When there are no barriers and ego issues and communication gates are open. Such relationships thrive on a healthy environment. Here both the partners know when to exit an argument and also control the situation when it is getting out of control.

Giving Space: A healthy relationship is all about giving and taking some time to explore more about the other and yourself. People who respect their partner’s need for space and don’t feel threatened by it means the relationship is going great

Physical Intimacy: A mutually satisfying sex life is a prerequisite for a beautiful relationship.

Humour: Is important for defusing tensions and the appropriate usage of words in relationships can create beautiful sparks, which is much needed.

Maturity: Not being or behaving like a child who is whining or complaining. Rather, you are a person who is calm, focused, who listens and negotiates. Such relationships click really well.

Empathising with the person: When you are stepping in to the shoes of your partner to realise what he or she is going through, you build a bond. This concern you show is the main reason why the relationship is working.

Acceptance: Accepting your partner the way he or she is and not trying to change his or her natural self or their natural identity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~