Mahek, you're an Evil Middle High!

Well, you're kinda evil. They haven't reserved a place for you in Hell yet, but the leasing agents are starting their calls. (Sorry, no air conditioning.) We're guessing you find others' pain funny, your backstabbing knife is probably pretty sharp, and your sexual wiles have likely brought you enjoyment at the expense of your bunkmates a time or two. If more than one of those three things rings true, consider yourself a card-carrying evil person. If you're interested in recanting the evil thing, sensitivity counseling isn't a bad idea. Or else find a more sadistic career, like a bouncer or a metermaid. But hey, to each his own, and if your evilness fits, wear it. Keep reading for more evil details!

We're all slaves to our urges — some just more than others. Sure, you probably shake it a little to get your way, but you don't beat yourself up over it (unless you're into that, of course). For your own sake, realize that getting hurt sexually generally stings more than being burnt with your clothes on. So even if your pillow pal has a mean set of love handles, keep it to yourself. Just listen to that little voice in your head (no, not that one), and the evil sex thing will stop.

Don't feel too bad about hiding your anger. At least, not right now. When your spleen ruptures from internalized stress, then you can feel bad about it. Passive people act that way because they're ultimately sweet and don't want to upset anyone. While that may work for the short term, you end up looking like a real back-stabber when you, ah, stab someone in the back. Try to deal with your problems up front, and you probably won't have to renew your concealed weapons permit this year.

We're not going to say you're a bad person, but you're toeing the line. A little advice: Try to think about how your victim will feel before you pull your next dirty prank (we don't care how funny it is when you take out a classifed ad and sell someone's car for them). You may think cruelty is funny, but your friends don't — especially the ones who've been burned by your verging-on-evil ways. Listen to your conscience a little more, okay?