Mistakes

Flaws Within Us

Which Husband did you marry?

Is he steady and calm, sweet and loving?
Or simply the sexiest guy you've ever met?
Here's what you need to know for the future – whichever husband you choose...

Most of girls were brought up to believe there was a single entity called a Good Husband.
Yet there are actually two very different kinds of good husbands:
the Boyfriend and the Husband.
The former is everything you've wanted since you were 15:
sexy, spontaneous, irresistible.
He makes you laugh, makes you shiver,
makes you mad as hell.
The thing is, he never quite pictured himself as a husband and father,
and deep down he still doesn't.
When you're trying to explain the concept of equal parenting or
picking up his wet towels from the floor, you wonder:
Did I make the biggest mistake of my life?

The Husband is your best buddy,
a man you can count on to walk the baby at 3 am,
Yes,
sex is more tender than thrilling,
but isn't that to be expected with time?
Still, sometimes you wonder if marriage should have more pizzazz, mystery...

Well, yes.
And Boyfriend husbands should stay home more often, too.
But just as there is no one good marriage,
there is no one good husband:
Even the best have a B side.
But how do you live with your doubts and still love
and nourish the good marriage you've got? Read on...

He's such a bad boy!

From the outside looking in,
all girls envy the Boyfriend Marriage –
and from the inside out, it does feel as good as it looks.
Romantic . Spontaneous. Magical. Right.
At its best, it feels the way you were always told marriage should feel.
You will have a rollickingly connected kind of marriage,
like a radio that never gets turned off.
And that's wonderful when the magic is working.
But, if the highs are higher in this marriage ,
the lows are also lower.

Passion
– the glue of the Boyfriend Marriage –
has a downside, and it resides in its very origin:
The flame that fuels it is either unfamiliarity or uncertainty.
And much as girls love our husbands,
t hey do not remain an endless series of brandnew revelations.
Which leaves girls uncertainty,
for the dynamics haven't changed much since your dating days.
The same questions still rivet you,
just beneath the surface of your everyday lives:

How does he feel?

How do you feel?

Is he still attracted to you?

Do you still love him?

But most of the time,
you just love the way your heart jumps
when you first catch sight of him,
the way you feel walking into a room together,
the rightness. Then something happens,
and the balance tips – and you're back to does-he-or-doesn't-he?

He's comfy and cool
There's no question:
Being married to a Husband is easier on the psyche than
being married to a Boyfriend.
Here, the sexual connection evolves out of a steadily growing regard,
an intellectual rapport,
a shared sense of humour and a profound romantic attachment.
One doesn't so much fall in love as walk into it.

The downside of the Husband Marriage ?
The yearning to be swept away by a tidal wave of lust.
And it can feel a lot worse when you're going through a period of doubts ...
or when an actual person comes along who reminds
you of the passion you once knew.

How to love the one you're with

No matter what the style,
good marriages are based on chemistry,
commitment and communication.
And optimism:
It helps to look at your marriage as half full rather than half empty.
Loving your husband and yourself at the same time depends upon
seeing him as clearly as possible,
trying to forgive him for what you see that you wish you didn't,
and trying to live with him in spite of it.

Given how different the Husband Marriage is from the Boyfriend Marriage,
you'd think they'd require vastly different strategies for long-lasting happiness.
Not so. Just don't compare him to your best friend's husband.
Realise that a good marriage has intimacy and independence.
It pays to cultivate a network of friendships and interests outside the marriage.
In the Husband Marriage, you need to find something that stirs
you and allow your enthusiasm to invigorate your marriage.
In the Boyfriend Marriage, you need that independence to nourish
your self-esteem and to see you through rocky times.

Whichever kind of husband you married, if you want change,
say the experts,
take the initiative.
Don't wait for him to read your mind.
If you want more time for yourself, say so.
If you want a hotter sex life,
make the first move.
And... Stay away from temptation

The rules of friendship

What you should never do if you want to remain friends with someone

You may meet several people in life who leave an impact on you,
but a true friend is one who sticks by you for as long as you live.
Regardless of how may people you might get acquainted with in life,
the ones who are closest to you will always be your friends.
However, like with any other relationship, friendship is also a give and take.
There are lines that you should not cross if you don't want to lose your friend.
It's true that a friend's love should be unconditional, but let's face it,
if you really go wrong and hurt him or her,
you can't blame them for walking out of your life.
So, to avoid this from happening,
read on to know what you should never do,
if you want to remain friends with someone.

STEAL THEIR LOVE

The worst reason for losing friends is
because of someone from the opposite sex.
If your friend is in love with a man or woman and you steal
their boyfriend or girlfriend you might end up losing your friend.
There are enough men and women out there; you don't need to
destroy your friend's relationship because you want their man or woman for yourself.
Your friends' lovers are off bounds so don't go
down that road and risk losing a friendship.

UNHEALTHY COMPETITION

A fair amount of competitiveness is good for the system and is even
healthy as it motivates one to do better.
But if the only reason you are competing is because you want
to prove a point that you are the best, then stop yourself.
If you are always trying to outdo your friend at
what he or she does only to make yourself feel better,
watch out, your friend might find someone else to replace you.
No one wants to play games and beat the other all the time.
Friendship is being on the same team and not fighting against each other.

GET NASTY ABOUT THEIR FAMILY

Talking about your friend's family or interfering in their family affairs
will definitely cause a break up.
It is perfectly ok for you to be concerned
about your friend's family but don't get meddlesome.
You can always give advice,
if he or she asks for it and be there to support them,
but don't get judgemental. It is after all
his or her family and you need to respect that.

MOCKERY

If your friend is going through rough times or is feeling less confident
than usual because of a mistake they made at work, don't laugh at them.
Regardless of how silly the problem might seem to you,
if it is affecting your friend, joking about it will make him or
her resent you. Instead be positive and encourage them to do better.
Remember that it is your friend and he or she would have done the same for you.

NO GOSSIP

When your friend confides in you about something that is very
personal to him or her and asks you to keep it confidential — do so.
Gossiping about your friend might lead to distrust and he or she might
never share another thing with you.
Avoid talking about your friend's secrets to other people .
Friendship is about trust and if he or she can't trust you,
there is no basis for your friendship.

DON'T DITCH

If someone has planned a weekend away or a day trip and you agreed to join them,
you cannot cancel at the last minute,
unless you are really ill or there is a really big crisis .
If you didn't want to go you should let him or her know from the start.
Don't make plans and then cancel because there are other people who depend on you.
So if you give your word, stick to it.

HOLD A GRUDGE

It is only natural that two people, who are close to each other,
will at some point in time fight. This does not mean you hold
something against him or her for as long as you live.
Learn to forgive and forget.
If it is an issue that can be resolved, take some time talk to your
friend in a mature manner and work things out.
Losing a friend over an argument is just not worth it!

I Love You :*

The Game of Love

Have You Really Loved A Woman???

To really love a woman, to understand her
You gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought, see every dream
And give her wings when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'cause she needs somebody to tell her, that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman?
To really love a woman, let her hold you
Till you know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her, really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
And when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman


When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'cause she needs somebody to tell her, that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman?
You got to give her some faith, hold her tight
A little tenderness, gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
You really gotta love your woman
When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'cause she needs somebody to tell her, that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman?
Tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman?
So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman?

^^ Friends Forever ^^

Dedication to Love ....

What Makes a Dad?

God Took strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,


The generous soul of nature,
The comforting of night,
The wisdom of ages,
The power of the Eagles Flight,


The joy of a morning in the spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,


Then God combined those Qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew his masterpeice was complete ,
And so, he called it DAD .. !

Love Note

What's Love Got to do With it?

Every Cinderella longs to find her Prince Charming and live happily ever after.

We all want to fall in love. Why?

Because that experience makes us feel completely alive.
Our emotions get magnified, senses get heightened,
and we are flying in seventh heaven.

It may only last a moment, an hour,
a day, but that doesn't diminish its value....


But are you sure it's love that we are talking about?

Why do independent, smart women become
emotional wrecks after a romantic break-up?

Why do older men gravitate towards younger women?

Could it be estrogen and testosterone hormones
that addict us to our lovers?

In terms of mature relationships and love,
most of the times, people fail to distinguish
between the true meaning of love and lust.

Have you ever been sweeped off your feet by a man/woman
standing next to you in a queue?

Is it merely infatuation, a strong shot of chemistry, or budding love - the real thing?

Is Cupid playing a prank or bringing you true love forever?

Love at first sight is not believable.
Love takes time.
Lust at first sight sounds much more accurate.
A study done by testing the blood samples of twenty couples,
who claimed to be madly in love for less than six months,
revealed that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent
to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.

It's hard to tell if you are in love because there're no set
defining characteristics of love.
The dictionary says it's
"a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection"
or
"a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person."

What exactly is this feeling or attraction?

The question evoked the thought process was surprised that
i had never thought of this aspect of her relationship before.
After much silence she concluded,
"Emotions are not sufficient to suggest whether a relationship is that of love,
no matter how strong the attraction may be."
Sadly, there is not much awareness to distinguish between lust and love
and that is why we have so many emotional and social problems.

Since time immemorial we are hearing that love is blind.
But that's a mistake; real love is not blind.
Quite the opposite, it is a relationship in full awareness.
Over time, through good communication and wisdom,
you can start knowing your partner.
Gradually, you become aware of his/her flaws
and try to work your differences in a healthy way.

Lust, on the other hand, could be perceived
as being "blind" as it usually distorts reality,
especially when you're so involved that you don't care
to find out the real persona of your partner.

According to a psychologist,
we often idolize our partners,
magnify their virtues and find a way to explain their flaws.
This basically happens because many movies,
books and songs paint an unrealistic portrait of love,
which further builds a false perception of love in our minds.

When, a commercial pilot by profession,
was asked whether his six-year-old relationship was based
on love or lust, he was quick to reply,
"Love is full of sacrifices, trust and respect whereas
lust is built on physical attraction, fun and thrills.
Real love is commitment.
I cannot categorize my relationship
as a short sensational affair of love is in the air."

Do some real soul searching today and identify your relationship.
If you're in a relationship which does not have fondness,
respect, affection, devotion along with passion,
it would be wise to back off.
Or else, one day those wonderful romantic feelings will be gone
and you will wonder what happened to your perfect romance.
Accept the fact that you or your partner is not ready for commitment.
After all, commitment is a choice
which is backed up with actions and maturity.

Reflections

"Who am I today?" I ask..
And I wonder if I even know.
I know the past has shaped me now,
Even though the past was long ago.

The little moments form a blur,
The times both happy and sad,
All the people I once knew,
And the things I used to have.

They all helped me to become
Where, what and who I am now,
Because everything has influenced me,
I'm not sure exactly how.

But I'm thankful for the memories,
Even of the people I've never really met,
For the people I miss, the people I love,
And even the people I'd like to forget.

For these memories have helped me grow,
They've made me calm, yet strong,
And now there's a story to my life,
That they've been writing all along.

So, thank you for the memories.
Without them, I don't know who I'd be -
Because somewhere among these memories
Are the things that define me.

~~~