The 7 Stages of Emotional Clearing

by Jelaila Starr

How to clear the negative emotions in our bodies is a process that most of us have never been taught to do. Society does not give much credence to this work. Consequently, when we do try to clear, because we do not know the stages that humans go through in order to release painful emotions, we get stuck. For many, this leads to feelings of frustration and so they just give up. But when we give up, we do so at a price. When conflicts remain unresolved, their associated emotions remain, creating energetic imbalances in the body on the physical level that lead to illness. On the mental level, they can create bi-polar disorders and, in some cases, depression. On the emotional level, they lead us to either act out in destructive ways such as raging, or in covert ways, using passive/aggressive behavior. All of these things are destructive to our personal relationship with our Inner Children, not to mention our relationships with others.

The 7 Stages of Emotional Clearing are given as a roadmap to help you navigate the stages of clearing that each person experiences in order to fully and completely clear negative pain associated with a conflict or other negative event from the body.

The 7 Stages

1. Trigger
2. Identify Trigger through anger
3. Projection and blaming
4. Express and release anger and pain
5. Look for and find the mirror
6. Own the mirror
7. Clear the mirror

1. Trigger

A trigger occurs when someone violates a personal boundary or agreement.

2. Identifying the trigger through anger

Once triggered, you react with anger or, if not anger, at least a sense that something is not right.

Note: Many people get stuck here because they have learned to immediately stuff their anger when it occurs. An example would be saying to yourself, “Oh, it’s just not worth getting upset over.”

3. Projection and Blaming

If you are angry, the next thing you do is blame someone for it. We call this “projecting” because you are putting the blame for your pain on someone else.

Note: Many people project and blame but they don’t go past this point and express it to the person with whom they are upset.

4. Express and release anger and pain

This is the step in which you vent your anger toward the accused. Expressing can take various forms depending on the intensity of the violation and trigger. Mild violations may require just speaking up about it. Stronger violations may require speaking up and a few choice cuss words to clear the pain and so on.

Note: Most people will stop short of this step because they believe they don’t feel comfortable and/or they don’t have the right to express their anger. In that case, passive/aggressive behavior will ensue because anger must have a release.

5. Look for and find the mirror
Once the anger has been expressed, logic can return. Now and only now can you begin to look for how you have co-created the situation. Beginning with Steps 1—3 of the Formula of Compassion, you look for the lesson, contract and role that the other person is playing.

Tip: If you are not able to talk with your guides to get the information you need to find the mirror, try starting with Step 4 of the Formula. Ask yourself, “What fear is the other person expressing through their behavior?” Once you figure out what the fear is, you then ask, “What belief is triggering that fear?” By doing this, you are tracing your way back to the belief that is at the root of the behavior. Keep this rule in mind: Beliefs create fears which we then act out through our behavior.

6. Own the mirror

Step 4 of the Formula of Compassion is where you recognize the aspect of you that the other person is reflecting or mirroring back to you. It is always a behavior motivated by fear. At that same moment of recognition, you will also be able to acknowledge that you have done the same thing that you have been judging that person for doing. If you truly see this, the anger and pain will quickly turn to empathy and sadness because you understand, first-hand, the fear that drives you both to that behavior.

Note: You may have already completed this step if you used the tip provided in Stage 5.

7. Clear the mirror

Steps 5-9 of the Formula of Compassion are completed in this stage.

Now that you have found the fear that motivated the behavior, the next step is to ask yourself, “What belief triggered that behavior?” This is usually a core belief such as, “I must be perfect in order to have the right to exist.” Once you find the belief, you now have the gift; the recognition of that belief and the opportunity to change it.

At this point there is a sudden shift in your body. The empathy and sadness shift to overwhelming appreciation and gratitude for the other person as all anger, pain, and blame are transmuted. In this moment you release the other person totally and completely. You then apologize and validate the other person’s pain.

Step 9 of the Formula of Compassion: Your only thought now is how to thank the other person for the gift. You do this by thanking them with a heart full of appreciation and gratitude. They will feel this. Once completed, you have cleared the mirror. The conflict is over and peace, love and harmony is reestablished. But there is an even greater reward; each party feels a greater degree of trust in the relationship because they know that when conflicts arise, each party will stay to work through the conflict and not run.

Lonely

Forget

Morning to Mawworld

A new day, wanting a fresh start...

PEACE & LOVE
thats all required ...

Love is Understanding

You've heard it said: "Love is patient and kind." If love is patient, it may be because love is truly understanding.

Do you know what the most common craving is among pregnant women? (I'm sure this is factual.) The most common craving among pregnant women is not spicy food, pickles or ice cream. Not even close. It is for MEN to get pregnant.

Why? Because then they would know what it is like! Then they might be more patient. What most women need during times of cravings, discomfort, swollen ankles and morning sickness is... understanding.

Much of our conflict is simply misunderstanding. As a new bride, one woman moved into the small home on her husband's ranch in the mountains. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.

For 50 years he left the box alone, until his life partner was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.

Opening it, he discovered two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."

Her husband was touched that in 50 years she'd only been upset enough to make two doilies.

"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.

She explained, "Oh, well that's the money I've made selling the doilies."

Marge Piercy beautifully said, "Life is the first gift, love is the second and understanding is the third." But it is love that gives us life and understanding that brings about love.

Making doilies might take your mind off the problem, but it won't change anything. The path from conflict to love is not by way of arts and crafts. It is through the valley of understanding.

Every tear

So Far Yet So Close...

Because she would asked Me why I loved her

A pledge to you my love

Alwaz N Forever